and they told me this was a safe neighborhood

Yesterday's police blotter contained two alarming reports.

One was that the police received a call because someone was running around the neighborhood shouting and making bird sounds. The police arrived, but as is often the case, they couldn't find anyone fitting this description -- there was no one shouting OR making bird sounds. This can only mean one thing -- that someone who makes bird sounds is still on the loose, terrorizing innocent residents. Unless -- wait -- could there possibly be birds out there? Might they be making bird sounds? Oh dear, I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep at night.

And then, there was the report that a snowmobiler rode across someone's yard to get to a local lake. The caller said that yes, it was a warmish day and there was a possibility the person could fall through the ice. But she wasn't really too concerned -- the person had every right to fall through the ice if that's what they wanted to do with their day. No, she was calling because she was concerned that when they fell through the ice, the gas or oil would go into the lake and cause pollution.

So now I have to worry about people -- or maybe birds -- one running around making bird noises AND one in the next town over who's just as grouchy as I am. Can this small region contain two of us?