Koa Kat update: Last night, when we went to bed, Robert made a neat pile of his clothes in the corner of the room. This morning, we woke up and the cat was lying on his shirt, which she had dragged a few feet closer to the bed. She gave us a slightly sheepish grin and curled back up for some more snoozing. I hope that Robert feels deeply honored that the cat wants to be close to him and have his scent on her.
Niece Paloma update: My mother told my niece and nephew that she's moving to an apartment. Paloma said "What's an apartment?" and my mother explained it. When she was done, Paloma said "Oh! You're moving to a hotel!" Can you tell this kid travels... a lot?
Drama: Last night, Robert and I walked to dinner, which we enjoyed with friends, and then walked to our local theater, where we saw "Brilliant Traces." In the first scene, a man (we assume) who lives in a remote cabin in Alaska, is sleeping through a horrible storm. Suddenly, the door bursts open, and there's a woman in a wedding dress and skimpy shoes who's ranting at the guy (whom we don't actually see for a while -- we just see his form under the covers). The woman eats some pretzels, drinks some liquor, and passes out. She sleeps for two days, and then wakes up.
The play is funny and devastating and marvelous at once. From the point of view of recent events, take two Koa cats in human form. They are both so damaged that they can only imagine life alone, but even better, an entirely grey experience, one with no contact whatsoever. In this horrible storm, they are forced into each others' company, and at least come to realize that they have a life wish. And the play builds on that as they work to heal themselves and each other without even quite realizing what they're doing.
I loved it, and was impressed with the level of directing and acting at this little theater. I'm so very proud that the theater's home is in our community.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Friday, April 28, 2006
introducing...
This is the amazing enigmatic Koa Kitty. She makes daily progress in such tiny increments that it 
is hard to articulate the steps. But it does seem that there have been a few distinct phases, at least for me; she's treated Robert entirely differently, taking longer to warm to him, but warming more quickly once she realized how sweet he is.
Before we went to Egypt, she spent nearly all her time on her eight-foot high shelf. We'd stand on the bathroom sink counter and reach up (me) or across (Robert) and pet her, and she came to love the affection. She'd flop down and roll from side to side, still being ever vigilant. She'd come down at night to eat, use the litter box, and after a few weeks, to play. We could hear her, but never see her, and if we looked at her, she'd streak back up to the shelf.
While we were in Egypt, our good friend Cen stayed here. On the last night of his two-week stay, after going above and beyond to be friendly yet respectful, he got into bed, she hopped up, and she allowed herself to be petted for nearly an hour.
And a few days after we got back, she started hopping on the bed and letting me pet her. As Robert points out, though, she'd only hop up if our feet were covered; if they were exposed, she'd stay away.
And then I went away, and Koa and Robert bonded deeply. On my return, she wouldn't have anything to do with me except that she'd let me look at her when Robert was petting her. Otherwise, all her affection went to Robert. He'd pet her, she'd flop around, purr ecstatically, lie down, roll, wave her paws near her ears, see me, and dash away.
But we've been making progress.
She's spent less and less time on her shelf (though she despises the vacuum lady and retreats to the furthest remotest corner of the shelf when VL arrives). We've opened up the closet and study doors so she has more room to roam around in. She took having more space in stride and we may open up the rest of the house soon. (Early on, more space might have upset her deeply.) For a few weeks, she'd use the closet as a hiding space and now she takes refuge under the bed, but within reach.
She's developed a very cute habit with Robert, of following him around, squeaking madly, and reacting ecstatically when he'd pet her.
Some time last week, I climbed up on the bathroom counter a few times and gave her pieces of kibble, slowly, one at a time, and scratched her head once or twice. Last weekend, I made some real progress with her -- she was about to jump on her shelf, and with a series of my calls (brr, brrr), she stopped her jump and hopped down to the floor. And ever since, in tiny tiny bits, she's started to bond with me again.
Initially, if I sat on the floor and was very still and quiet, she'd come just within reach and I could scratch her head before she darted away. Or I'd sit in my study and she'd sit in the bedroom nearby and wouldn't run away when I looked at her.
Then one day, I sat on the floor and krinkled one of her toys and called her (brr, brrr) and she came over. I started picking up her toys and playing with them -- making them dance or tossing them in the air. She'd look horrified, then fascinated, and eventually, we started to play very tentatively together.
Some times, she'll come over to me and rub against a vertical surface, arching her back, and squeaking ever so slightly like a tiny door hinge. When I pay attention, she'll run over to the bed and flop over, but run away when I come to pet her. She has allowed me to pet her on the floor, which is just about the nicest feeling in the world. But just this morning, I was in bed, and she squeaked and squeaked and finally jumped up and let me pet her on the bed (yes, my feet were covered).
And just now, I took out a favorite toy (a feather on a fishing pole) and she and I played with it for a few minutes. In fact, rather than looking horrified, she seemed to take real delight in chasing the feather and even caught it a few times. I'm pleased that she's starting to understand about playing with her humans.
Each little victory is so tiny that it hardly bears mention, but clearly, we've made tremendous leaps together. We communicate on such a deep but essential level, about security, safety, love, and even fun and delight. Slowly, but slowly, the messages are getting through.
is hard to articulate the steps. But it does seem that there have been a few distinct phases, at least for me; she's treated Robert entirely differently, taking longer to warm to him, but warming more quickly once she realized how sweet he is.Before we went to Egypt, she spent nearly all her time on her eight-foot high shelf. We'd stand on the bathroom sink counter and reach up (me) or across (Robert) and pet her, and she came to love the affection. She'd flop down and roll from side to side, still being ever vigilant. She'd come down at night to eat, use the litter box, and after a few weeks, to play. We could hear her, but never see her, and if we looked at her, she'd streak back up to the shelf.
While we were in Egypt, our good friend Cen stayed here. On the last night of his two-week stay, after going above and beyond to be friendly yet respectful, he got into bed, she hopped up, and she allowed herself to be petted for nearly an hour.
And a few days after we got back, she started hopping on the bed and letting me pet her. As Robert points out, though, she'd only hop up if our feet were covered; if they were exposed, she'd stay away.
And then I went away, and Koa and Robert bonded deeply. On my return, she wouldn't have anything to do with me except that she'd let me look at her when Robert was petting her. Otherwise, all her affection went to Robert. He'd pet her, she'd flop around, purr ecstatically, lie down, roll, wave her paws near her ears, see me, and dash away.
But we've been making progress.
She's spent less and less time on her shelf (though she despises the vacuum lady and retreats to the furthest remotest corner of the shelf when VL arrives). We've opened up the closet and study doors so she has more room to roam around in. She took having more space in stride and we may open up the rest of the house soon. (Early on, more space might have upset her deeply.) For a few weeks, she'd use the closet as a hiding space and now she takes refuge under the bed, but within reach.
She's developed a very cute habit with Robert, of following him around, squeaking madly, and reacting ecstatically when he'd pet her.
Some time last week, I climbed up on the bathroom counter a few times and gave her pieces of kibble, slowly, one at a time, and scratched her head once or twice. Last weekend, I made some real progress with her -- she was about to jump on her shelf, and with a series of my calls (brr, brrr), she stopped her jump and hopped down to the floor. And ever since, in tiny tiny bits, she's started to bond with me again.
Initially, if I sat on the floor and was very still and quiet, she'd come just within reach and I could scratch her head before she darted away. Or I'd sit in my study and she'd sit in the bedroom nearby and wouldn't run away when I looked at her.
Then one day, I sat on the floor and krinkled one of her toys and called her (brr, brrr) and she came over. I started picking up her toys and playing with them -- making them dance or tossing them in the air. She'd look horrified, then fascinated, and eventually, we started to play very tentatively together.
Some times, she'll come over to me and rub against a vertical surface, arching her back, and squeaking ever so slightly like a tiny door hinge. When I pay attention, she'll run over to the bed and flop over, but run away when I come to pet her. She has allowed me to pet her on the floor, which is just about the nicest feeling in the world. But just this morning, I was in bed, and she squeaked and squeaked and finally jumped up and let me pet her on the bed (yes, my feet were covered).
And just now, I took out a favorite toy (a feather on a fishing pole) and she and I played with it for a few minutes. In fact, rather than looking horrified, she seemed to take real delight in chasing the feather and even caught it a few times. I'm pleased that she's starting to understand about playing with her humans.
Each little victory is so tiny that it hardly bears mention, but clearly, we've made tremendous leaps together. We communicate on such a deep but essential level, about security, safety, love, and even fun and delight. Slowly, but slowly, the messages are getting through.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
at long, long last...
My pictures from Egypt, complete with captions, are available here (login required, but I think it's worth it!). Comments are welcome.
Monday, April 10, 2006
away and back again
I returned from my California trip on Thursday night. It was a good time away, both personally and professionally. The official reason for the trip was to attend a conference on Content Management (an area of study that poses the question: when you have piles of information, how do you organize it so that you can find it and use it again) and to present a paper there.
The conference was quite good -- there was lots to learn and the people were smart and solving interesting problems. Unfortunately (at least it felt that way at the time), my talk was the very last session of the last day. For a while, I was anxious that no one would come, and then as the conference progressed, I was afraid that someone might actually show up. I felt like my talk was too basic and went against everything that the experts were saying.
For most of the talks I attended, the message was that before you change your whole way of working, you need to plan, work with consultants, buy expensive tools, pull people off their regular jobs, do a lot of political work to sell your message, and on and on. My talk described our experiences. We had limited resources and a "day job" which involved documenting new features. So we worked iteratively, starting small, learning as we went. And for the foreseeable future, we'll be living in two parallel universes in which we do some things the old way and some things the new way.
During the talk, only one person got up and left. People asked great questions. Afterwards, a handful of people came up to the front and told me it was the best talk of the conference. People said that all conference long, they'd heard about certain problem areas, but hadn't gotten any ideas about how to solve those problems. I gave practical suggestions which they felt would be helpful to them. One day earlier, I'd attended a great talk by a thought leader at IBM. Now this guy was telling me that he's struggled to help members of newly acquired teams come up to speed and my talk gave him some insights into a possible approach.
So I'm pleased. I'm glad I was able to offer something helpful and to get at least a few people thinking about possibilities.
While in California, I did some fun things. I stayed at a little European-style inn about 3/4 of a mile from the conference. So I got to walk through neighborhoods and enjoy sights and sounds of people who live in the city. There was a little park across the street and in the morning, older Chinese people did Tai Chi, which was fun to watch.
One afternoon, I climbed up (and it was a vertical walk) to Coit Tower and admired the murals inside and the views outside. I walked down the other side and found the Parrots of Telegraph Hill, an enormous flock of somewhat feral parrots who live on a hillside and who have a beautiful view of the bay.
But the most fun was the time I spent with friends. I started the trip with a visit to my dear friends Kevin and his partner Dick. I was supposed to stay at their house, but when they picked me up at the airport, they explained that their house renovations hadn't finished on time (gee, what a surprise!) and that we would all stay in a hotel that night. We had a wide-ranging talk that evening. The next day, Kevin cleared out some quiet space at their house, and we continued our conversation into the afternoon. I also had a chance to meet their charming and unusual Bengal Tiger cats.
I also saw new friends whom I met on our Egypt trip, Alan and Deborah. Another old friend, Jim, and I spent a lovely evening at Green's, watching a gorgeous sunset over the water and catching up a bit. And I socialized a bit with my old Rational and now-Idiom colleague, BR, and his wife S; we had a few fun and delicious meals together.
So now I'm back. It all caught up with me on Friday, so I basically laid low for the day. On Friday evening, we went to hear the Soweto Gospel Choir. We had tried to go last year, but were out of town and gave our tickets away. They put on a great performance that kept me going through all the fatigue. On Saturday, we attended a lovely contra dance with two of my favorite callers. And yesterday, we attended a live interview between Terri Gross and Ira Glass. While Terri asked most of the questions, Ira occasionally got one in and got answers. It was a fascinating afternoon.
And yes, one of these days, I'll work on my Egypt pictures. I know there are some good ones in there, and I'm as eager as everyone else to see them!
The conference was quite good -- there was lots to learn and the people were smart and solving interesting problems. Unfortunately (at least it felt that way at the time), my talk was the very last session of the last day. For a while, I was anxious that no one would come, and then as the conference progressed, I was afraid that someone might actually show up. I felt like my talk was too basic and went against everything that the experts were saying.
For most of the talks I attended, the message was that before you change your whole way of working, you need to plan, work with consultants, buy expensive tools, pull people off their regular jobs, do a lot of political work to sell your message, and on and on. My talk described our experiences. We had limited resources and a "day job" which involved documenting new features. So we worked iteratively, starting small, learning as we went. And for the foreseeable future, we'll be living in two parallel universes in which we do some things the old way and some things the new way.
During the talk, only one person got up and left. People asked great questions. Afterwards, a handful of people came up to the front and told me it was the best talk of the conference. People said that all conference long, they'd heard about certain problem areas, but hadn't gotten any ideas about how to solve those problems. I gave practical suggestions which they felt would be helpful to them. One day earlier, I'd attended a great talk by a thought leader at IBM. Now this guy was telling me that he's struggled to help members of newly acquired teams come up to speed and my talk gave him some insights into a possible approach.
So I'm pleased. I'm glad I was able to offer something helpful and to get at least a few people thinking about possibilities.
While in California, I did some fun things. I stayed at a little European-style inn about 3/4 of a mile from the conference. So I got to walk through neighborhoods and enjoy sights and sounds of people who live in the city. There was a little park across the street and in the morning, older Chinese people did Tai Chi, which was fun to watch.
One afternoon, I climbed up (and it was a vertical walk) to Coit Tower and admired the murals inside and the views outside. I walked down the other side and found the Parrots of Telegraph Hill, an enormous flock of somewhat feral parrots who live on a hillside and who have a beautiful view of the bay.
But the most fun was the time I spent with friends. I started the trip with a visit to my dear friends Kevin and his partner Dick. I was supposed to stay at their house, but when they picked me up at the airport, they explained that their house renovations hadn't finished on time (gee, what a surprise!) and that we would all stay in a hotel that night. We had a wide-ranging talk that evening. The next day, Kevin cleared out some quiet space at their house, and we continued our conversation into the afternoon. I also had a chance to meet their charming and unusual Bengal Tiger cats.
I also saw new friends whom I met on our Egypt trip, Alan and Deborah. Another old friend, Jim, and I spent a lovely evening at Green's, watching a gorgeous sunset over the water and catching up a bit. And I socialized a bit with my old Rational and now-Idiom colleague, BR, and his wife S; we had a few fun and delicious meals together.
So now I'm back. It all caught up with me on Friday, so I basically laid low for the day. On Friday evening, we went to hear the Soweto Gospel Choir. We had tried to go last year, but were out of town and gave our tickets away. They put on a great performance that kept me going through all the fatigue. On Saturday, we attended a lovely contra dance with two of my favorite callers. And yesterday, we attended a live interview between Terri Gross and Ira Glass. While Terri asked most of the questions, Ira occasionally got one in and got answers. It was a fascinating afternoon.
And yes, one of these days, I'll work on my Egypt pictures. I know there are some good ones in there, and I'm as eager as everyone else to see them!
Saturday, April 01, 2006
First week home and away again
Of course, the first week of being home has been a flurry -- doing laundry, catching up on a grocery sack of mail, paying bills, reacquainting ourselves with the cat. This afternoon, I'm flying to San Francisco (without Robert) to attend a conference and deliver a talk. While there, I'll see three sets of friends, a nice treat.
The cat continues to progress, though slowly as always. She now comes and visits us in bed and loves to be petted. But she often anxiously runs away if we get up and walk around. I've also opened the study to her so that she can explore another room.
The really big news, though, is that yesterday, Robert was at work and his brother John, who manages Robert from Colorado, appeared just before lunch. Alas, after ten years, it's time to close down the New England branch of the company. So over the next few weeks, Robert will be looking for another job.
We're financially fine for a good long while, which is the good news, but I look forward to Robert being fully employed again, after he has a short break, of course.
After delivering the news and taking Robert and Dawn out for a very nice lunch, John came down to our house to see it and have a short social visit. We had a nice talk, but he of course has pulls at home, and I think he was feeling terribly distressed about his mission. So he extracted himself as quickly as he could, with hopes that he could get an early flight home last night.
On the way out, he thanked us for not being mean to him. I think we both understand that he has a business to run and that business is particularly bad right now. I hope he is eventually successful once again.
The cat continues to progress, though slowly as always. She now comes and visits us in bed and loves to be petted. But she often anxiously runs away if we get up and walk around. I've also opened the study to her so that she can explore another room.
The really big news, though, is that yesterday, Robert was at work and his brother John, who manages Robert from Colorado, appeared just before lunch. Alas, after ten years, it's time to close down the New England branch of the company. So over the next few weeks, Robert will be looking for another job.
We're financially fine for a good long while, which is the good news, but I look forward to Robert being fully employed again, after he has a short break, of course.
After delivering the news and taking Robert and Dawn out for a very nice lunch, John came down to our house to see it and have a short social visit. We had a nice talk, but he of course has pulls at home, and I think he was feeling terribly distressed about his mission. So he extracted himself as quickly as he could, with hopes that he could get an early flight home last night.
On the way out, he thanked us for not being mean to him. I think we both understand that he has a business to run and that business is particularly bad right now. I hope he is eventually successful once again.
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