Later in the morning, a bit more sleep under my belt. And more tears. I feel so helpless against this disease. For a while, it didn't necessarily seem like we were winning, but perhaps we were holding it off for a while longer. Now it's clear that even those efforts are failing, if indeed we had any effect at all.
One of my saddest thoughts: I wonder if Juliet knows that I have and would do anything in my power to keep her healthy. And, to twist it around, I wonder if she feels that I've somehow let her down. At the same time, she seems so forgiving, so happy just to be near me. I am grateful but somehow feel unworthy at the same time. It's the old conflict of emotion and intellect, apparently a big day for that particular battle.
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