Toss. Turn. Repeat.

4:00 am last night. I was awake. After disturbing the cats and returning to bed, I couldn't get back to sleep.

First, I thought about my brother who sweetly sent a card, then a few days later sent an email asking if I'd gotten card. He said he hadn't intended to ask me to be a messenger between him and our father and then asked me to do just that. So I lay awake for a while grumbling to myself and wondering what part of NO he failed to understand the first time around.

Next, I thought about my aunt who ranges from sweet and innocent to manipulative and enraging. She actually was lovely enough to give my brother my number so that he would stop calling her. Lovely. At the time, she said "I know you two had a little tiff a while back," forgetting that the break came when my brother turned to me in front of a huge audience, said "You know, I've never liked you," and then things went downhill from there.

Then I thought about a friend who started driving toward Florida late last night and spent some perhaps unnecessary time worrying about her safety. (Storms, crazy drivers, the usual.)

I tried my usual falling-asleep trick several times -- counting backwards by sevens from 1000 -- but kept getting distracted by another worry and another. Then I thought about how I've been warned that insomnia is a side effect of being female and my age. Fun.

Somewhere in there, I did fall back to sleep but I'm wiped out. I was so afraid I'd snap at someone today but I don't *think* I did. Now I'm home, safe and sound and I can try to head to bed early tonight.