news and cards, some cheerful, some harder.

One of my December activities is to write cards. I think I've sent about 75 so far this year, with a few more to go. I try to write a personal note in each one, so it takes me a few weekends to work through my list. I get a lot of great cards in return with pictures and fun newsy updates. Some people stay in touch with their "list" by sending out dumb jokes -- I take this route, which feels a lot more personal to me.

Amongst all the funny and fun news were some sad bits and pieces. My aunt wrote that her mother died this August. This was just a few months after her husband's mother -- my grandmother -- died in June. Lida, my aunt's mother, was feisty and brilliant. She did medical research alongside her husband, and then after she was widowed, alone, until they took her lab away. She wrote a book about cell-wall deficiency. She was so delighted that Robert could actually converse knowledgeably about the subject and was interested in it that she gave him a copy. She researched Lyme disease and had some wild ideas about it -- I'm not sure whether she was proved right or wrong eventually. But her lab was taken away when she was accused of practicing medicine without a license, basically diagnosing people whose doctors weren't helping.

A few years ago, she was invited to Australia to give a talk. She took one of her granddaughters but insisted to everyone that the lovely young lady was her niece -- she did not want to be perceived as old. After her forced retirement, she moved out of her Detroit mansion into a community where she spent her days playing bridge with her friends. Eventually, her mind went and then her body. She lived into her mid-90s.

The other piece of very tough news is that a friend of the family, M, has been diagnosed with acute leukemia. The family friendship goes way back -- there are pictures of her grandfather riding a horse with my great uncle's law partner in Central Park. My great uncle was her father's best friend. And I met her cousin, A, as a child in Washington and again at early dances in Boston. M and I have met as adults a few times, initially when her mother was ill and she was caretaker, then at my family's gatherings (including at my great uncle's memorial service) and at A's house near Boston.

A is a talented artist and makes a living gold-leafing. I now have a very sweet piece that she created for my great aunt and uncle's 25th wedding anniversary. It comes about as close to religious expression as I can get. I am very proud to be its keeper for now.

This family has known so much tragedy. There has been a huge split between the women and the men of the family. A's sister disappeared (or, as is suspected, was disappeared) on a trip to Maritime Canada. M, herself, had a sister who died of AIDS years ago.

In recent years, M has found a wonderful lifemate and husband. And A has also found a life partner. They both seem so much at peace. And now this news.

I am grateful to be informed. And as always, sadness creeps in and takes its place next to joy and gratitude. onward.