Random thoughts on a hazy-minded day

I've been feeling a little low the last few days, almost not well enough to weed, which takes very little energy. In my haze this afternoon, I pondered on a few mysteries:

> Why does the vinca want to grow in the lawn when there's plenty of space for it in the vinca bed? But the grass, which doesn't always want to grow in the lawn, is happy to take over for the vinca?

> Why did half the lavender die off (I pulled up ugly wet black roots) when the same plants on either side flourished?

My family has also been much on my mind lately --

> So why do we communicate the things that we shouldn't  (got something unpleasant to say about someone else? my family will make sure that person hears it, but not from your lips) but not communicate the things that we should? And why, throughout these difficult weeks, is my mother being so cheerfully and bountifully generous while at times also being so destructive?

 
On a more cheerful note, I thought about one of my personal heroes, Steve Schalchlin. He started a blog in 1986 before anyone thought of the word, and I started reading it within months of his initial entry. My friend Char discovered Steve independently; in her final years, he was the person she wrote to when she felt like no one else would understand her issues about living and dying. (Thank you, Steve, for easing Char's journey.) I now own a book that Steve gave to Char about mind-healing.

Steve has AIDS and started writing soon after he nearly died the first time. In these eight years, he's broken up with and re-united with his partner Jim; with Jim, developed a musical about his near-death and bright-life experiences; with Jim, developed a play about discovering redemption not in religion (as they originally thought would do the trick) but in theater, song,  and in each other; and most recently, Jim has written a musical about the redemption of a young girl tossed about and neglected in foster care.

In addition to merely surviving and his great creations, Steve is a bridge builder. I know that he's accompanied dying friends on their last voyages. He's also built bridges to help gay people through the painful process of coming out, convincing gay youth to keep living, and convincing those on the religious right to at least interact with gay people as human beings.

So my heart beams at Steve, with hopes that he gets to live his life happily and healthily for many years to come.