Saturday, May 23, 2009

life in a small town

From the police blotter of our crime-ridden neighborhood:

  • Monday May 11, 2:23 pm. Police were advised of a man parked on Common Road who appeared to be disoriented. Turns out, the man was looking for a lost pair of eyeglasses. [He lost the eyeglasses on West Road, so he really was disoriented. Police advised him of his location and sent him on his way.]
  • Tuesday May 12, 2:57 pm. A caller on Randall Road reported a youth came to his door and asked if he needed his lawn mowed. The caller was worried the youth might not be legitimate. [And after all, who would want the son of unmarried parents to mow their lawn?]
  • Thursday May 14, 7:50 pm. A caller on Espie Avenue reported a larceny of an umbrella. Police are investigating. [Our men in blue, fighting crime every day.]
  • Saturday May 16, 5:15 pm. A resident called to report four boys on the town raft in the middle basin of Lake Boon. The boys appeared to be cooking something on a hibachi. An officer responded, collected pertinent information, and sent the boys on their way. [Key question: Would you share your recipe for marinated grilled duck with the audience at home?]

2 comments:

Robin said...

Very frightening. Perhaps you would consider relocating somewhere safer, like Manhattan.

eba said...

I know. Especially the umbrella larceny. That's really got me thinking about whether I want to raise my cats in this ungodly place.