the meeting of the tech writers

I had a relatively busy day today, one that kept me out of the house for most of the day. One of my appointments was for afternoon coffee with the founder of the local technical writers group, the situation I wrote about last week.

We met for about 35 minutes. I thought she handled things well. She apologized for dumping the leadership in my lap and for trying to control things via email. She owned up to having other things going on -- that she has baggage. She said that she felt like I was being competitive. (I felt like I was trying to be collaborative and just get things done, but I didn't say that.) She expressed an interest in taking back the group. She asked me to add her back to the mailing list, give her moderator powers, and remove privileges from my account so that she could have "total ownership."

For my part, I said that I realized early on that very little of her reaction was personally aimed at me (which seemed to be a relief to her). I talked a little about my experience with new-group dynamics. I said a few words about motive theory and how I could see that my actions could be taken as competitive, but that's not really in my makeup. (Thanks to cdp for giving me that vocabulary.)

I told her that at the meeting on Saturday, people did ask about her and that I tried to shut down the conversation as quickly as possible. She said she appreciated that. She thanked me for taking a more seasoned approach and not dragging her through the mud. I just smiled and said that to do so would have meant having to drag myself through the mud too -- that getting wrapped up in these situations is hard on both people, not just on one person.

And then we talked about some of her job prospects and some areas that she's possibly thinking of specializing in. We actually ran out of things to say, I think more because it still feels awkward. So we parted ways.

The rest of the day had a few more social components which were far more pacific, but after this particular meeting, I went shopping for dinner and then relaxed at home by doing research on a possible new camera. Not sure if I'll end up getting it, but it sure is fun to think about.

Onward.