many milestones

oh my. It's been over a month since I last posted. While trying to clear the cobwebs out enough to make my way back to my own blog, at least one friend made polite and almost discreet inquiries about whether I was ok (or perhaps whether I was still alive). Yes and yes, but somehow my new job has sucked up all my blogging energies, which is not necessarily a bad thing. I have still found the energy for input -- reading OP's (other peoples') blogs -- just not for the output that at least one dear person desperately craves.

(Thank you! It's nice to know that I have a reader, or actually, a handful of readers!)

I thought that for my triumphant return to the blogosphere, I'd note some of the many milestones that have been occurring of late.

Happy anniversary to us
As I noted back in February, Robert and I celebrated our 15th anniversary together this year. We went on our traditional President's weekend trip to Provincetown and once again ended up at the same inn with another couple whose company we enjoy. The usual good eating, walking around, looking at art, getting cold, warming up, lazing about, reading, and enjoying each others' company ensued. Robert, as has also become tradition, had an absolutely stunning bouquet of flowers delivered to the room. We enjoyed them both while away and for days after we returned home.

On Sunday, we attended the UU church, which had a guest speaker, a member of the congregation. I've been priding myself for years on at least handling moments of deep crisis with some level of balance and humanity. The speaker said that that was the easy part. The challenge is to handle all those small inconsequential moments with the same level of grace.

Oh boy, I have a lot of work ahead of me. My mind flashes to driving around the grocery store parking lot and seeing carts that shoppers abandoned in spaces because they couldn't walk them two spots over to the corral. Or the parents who let their kids run around in restaurants, nearly tripping the waitress. Or, or, or... I guess the path to enlightenment is long and the goal is very very far off. I will keep working toward that elusive goal.

Anyways, a good anniversary, a good celebration, and a good time for re-enlisting in the relationship for at least a while longer.


Happy anniversary to Koa
A little over a year ago, on Valentine's Day, actually, I made my fourth visit to the no-kill shelter, where I'd fallen in love with a tiny frightened adult cat. I decided to adopt her that day. After our 2006 trip to Provincetown, I brought her home, where she started her weeks-long retreat on top of the only eight-foot-high shelf in the house.

A year is a long time in a cat's life, and I am so proud of our little cat's progress. As her fear retreats, her sweetness and loving nature shine more and more. She feels safest on my bed, and we have a morning and evening cuddling ritual. She flops over next to me, and I pat her and scratch her while she writhes around on her back and waves her paws in the air. Sometimes, she lies still, closes her eyes, and just purrs.

Or I'll give her a new toy and she'll sniff it, rub it, hold it in her paws, roll over on it, and express her gratitude for quite a while before she actually plays with it. Lately, her purr has gotten stronger, and she's started making kitty dough on the comforter when she's settling in. Sometimes, I feel like we're giving her at least part of a second babyhood so that she can reset her anxiety levels.

Her comfort area is expanding, too. She likes to hang out with us downstairs. Sometimes, we'll hear her yowling as she is arriving from upstairs, and occasionally she'll bring a comforting toy with her and play with it in the hallway. I'm more able to pet her downstairs, too.

And yet, she is very shy around strangers, though she sometimes makes a brief appearance. I still can't pick her up regularly, and when I'm close to her, I need to leave a lot of open space for her to escape. My latest theory is that she's terrified that she'll have to move away from us. So if she avoids being picked up or having contact with strangers, she'll get to stay. Our job is to convince her that she gets to stay forever, and that even if we go away, we'll come back.

We've seen great progress over the months, and I'm hopeful for more -- we see her take tiny steps all the time.


Happy birthday to Theo
Theo was one year old this month! He is a sweet, laid back guy who is playful and loving. He follows us around like a dog. He always greets us when we come into the house (and even knows the sound of Robert's car in the street). When I sit at the computer, he often lies on my desk next to me. I've taught him to sit on command. He purrs easily.

His one fault is that although he can be nice to Koa, he also sees her as a giant toy that will run away if he chases her. There's not much we can do about it, especially because we have indoor cats with lots of pent-up energy. On the one hand, I'm not happy to see Koa treated badly, and I don't think Theo always helps with her recovery. On the other hand, it's great that they run around the house -- it's good exercise and I think it keeps them both sharp. I also imagine that Theo will eventually tire of the game.

When he's being sweet to Koa, they will lick each other's heads. I often find them curled up on the same bed, not necessarily touching, but mere inches apart. And they can eat next to each other quite peacefully, another good sign.


Happy jobs!
Robert has been in his new job for nearly three months. I think he's doing well. It sounds like he's contributing a lot, communicating well with his boss, and soaking up all there is to learn. He's figured out some really hard problems so far, and it sounds like he will be given more responsibility as his team starts to work on their next major version. I'm really pleased; it sounds like a great environment for him.

And I'm just delighted with my new job. I continue to feel like I'm treated as an adult in an adult company. True, we haven't yet released Version 1 of our product, so we don't have any pissed off customers yet. But there are still daily stresses and lots of work to do, and we seem to be handling it all as a collaborative and cheerful team. There's time for occasional fun, even.

As part of our culture, we're supposed to think up silly titles for our business cards (like "Chief Bottle Washer"). I'm terrible at these things, so after contemplating and rejecting something in Latin ("iuste bonus scriptor" for "pretty good writer"), I turned to anagrams of my more official title. My favorites are "elite wildcat rancher" and "critical whale tender". I think the titles are supposed to be sillier -- Minister of Silly Walks would be good if it weren't so terribly derivative.


So life is good, with few crises and much to be grateful for. And yes, I'm alive and well (thanks for asking, KJM).