a milestone birthday

On Thursday, I had the honor to join 11 other people in celebrating the 60th birthday of a friend. The party was a surprise; my friend thought he was being taken out to dinner by a subset of the celebrants.

He arrived at the house so he could be driven to the restaurant. We were all sitting in the darkened living room. When he came inside, we started ringing bells, but didn't say anything. I'm sure we sounded like a band of drunken, tuneless gamelan players. He peered into the darkness, couldn't see us, then went outside again. We all looked at each other in horror, fearing that this shy man was overwhelmed and had hopped in his car to go home again.

Fortunately, about 30 seconds later, he came back inside again all smiles. He seemed genuinely pleased to see each of us. I chatted with people, many of whom I'd never met -- I was the only guest there from the dance community. For a few minutes, my friend didn't realize I was there and gave me a lovely greeting when he finally saw me.

We had each brought something to eat, so we sat down to an absolute feast at a formally set table. And of course, there was cake and the reading of the cards. I think my friend felt charmed, but more importantly, well loved, by the end of the evening.

Not everyone understands why I take so much pleasure in birthdays, especially friends' milestone birthdays. I feel that marking the date is a present to me. I listen to people complain about a grey hair here or a birthday there and think of my beloved friends who will be frozen forever in their 30s, who never had the privilege of celebrating a 32nd, 33rd, or 38th birthday. I have missed celebrating milestone birthdays of so many cherished people. Now I love celebrating birthdays -- mine, close friends, acquaintances -- and feel surrounded by others as I do so.

I suppose complaining about birthdays is a privilege too. There are days when I'd rather be back in that naive time, when I hadn't yet developed quite so much of an appreciation for the vicissitudes of aging compared to the alternative. But now that I know the alternative, have laid down with it and embraced it, please, bring on the morning stiffness, the grey hair, the lined faces, the wisdom, and the promise of more life. Bring it all on.