introducing...

This is the amazing enigmatic Koa Kitty. She makes daily progress in such tiny increments that it is hard to articulate the steps. But it does seem that there have been a few distinct phases, at least for me; she's treated Robert entirely differently, taking longer to warm to him, but warming more quickly once she realized how sweet he is.

Before we went to Egypt, she spent nearly all her time on her eight-foot high shelf. We'd stand on the bathroom sink counter and reach up (me) or across (Robert) and pet her, and she came to love the affection. She'd flop down and roll from side to side, still being ever vigilant. She'd come down at night to eat, use the litter box, and after a few weeks, to play. We could hear her, but never see her, and if we looked at her, she'd streak back up to the shelf.

While we were in Egypt, our good friend Cen stayed here. On the last night of his two-week stay, after going above and beyond to be friendly yet respectful, he got into bed, she hopped up, and she allowed herself to be petted for nearly an hour.

And a few days after we got back, she started hopping on the bed and letting me pet her. As Robert points out, though, she'd only hop up if our feet were covered; if they were exposed, she'd stay away.

And then I went away, and Koa and Robert bonded deeply. On my return, she wouldn't have anything to do with me except that she'd let me look at her when Robert was petting her. Otherwise, all her affection went to Robert. He'd pet her, she'd flop around, purr ecstatically, lie down, roll, wave her paws near her ears, see me, and dash away.

But we've been making progress.

She's spent less and less time on her shelf (though she despises the vacuum lady and retreats to the furthest remotest corner of the shelf when VL arrives). We've opened up the closet and study doors so she has more room to roam around in. She took having more space in stride and we may open up the rest of the house soon. (Early on, more space might have upset her deeply.) For a few weeks, she'd use the closet as a hiding space and now she takes refuge under the bed, but within reach.

She's developed a very cute habit with Robert, of following him around, squeaking madly, and reacting ecstatically when he'd pet her.

Some time last week, I climbed up on the bathroom counter a few times and gave her pieces of kibble, slowly, one at a time, and scratched her head once or twice. Last weekend, I made some real progress with her -- she was about to jump on her shelf, and with a series of my calls (brr, brrr), she stopped her jump and hopped down to the floor. And ever since, in tiny tiny bits, she's started to bond with me again.

Initially, if I sat on the floor and was very still and quiet, she'd come just within reach and I could scratch her head before she darted away. Or I'd sit in my study and she'd sit in the bedroom nearby and wouldn't run away when I looked at her.

Then one day, I sat on the floor and krinkled one of her toys and called her (brr, brrr) and she came over. I started picking up her toys and playing with them -- making them dance or tossing them in the air. She'd look horrified, then fascinated, and eventually, we started to play very tentatively together.

Some times, she'll come over to me and rub against a vertical surface, arching her back, and squeaking ever so slightly like a tiny door hinge. When I pay attention, she'll run over to the bed and flop over, but run away when I come to pet her. She has allowed me to pet her on the floor, which is just about the nicest feeling in the world. But just this morning, I was in bed, and she squeaked and squeaked and finally jumped up and let me pet her on the bed (yes, my feet were covered).

And just now, I took out a favorite toy (a feather on a fishing pole) and she and I played with it for a few minutes. In fact, rather than looking horrified, she seemed to take real delight in chasing the feather and even caught it a few times. I'm pleased that she's starting to understand about playing with her humans.

Each little victory is so tiny that it hardly bears mention, but clearly, we've made tremendous leaps together. We communicate on such a deep but essential level, about security, safety, love, and even fun and delight. Slowly, but slowly, the messages are getting through.