the men in blue suits

I live in a small town with an active police force. They mostly concern themselves with minor motor vehicle violations, operators driving under the influence of one substance or another, an occasional act of domestic violence, and assisting police in neighboring towns.

I know this because every week, the local newspaper publishes a report of police activities for the preceding week. This week, for example, there were 68 calls for service, 11 motor vehicle violations, and so on. The reports usually read as do the following selections from this week:

• Thursday. At 7:40 p.m. a caller reported a motor vehicle with Massachusetts license plates racing around on Reo Road. Police checked the area and found the vehicle gone on arrival.
• Friday. At 7:30 a.m. a caller reported a truck striking a wall on Acton Street causing damage to the property. A stone was knocked off the wall. However, the operator set it back in place.
• Saturday. At 2:40 p.m. an Old Marlborough Road resident reported someone calling her home for a donation. She said the caller told her he was from an association, but the resident does not remember completely what the caller said.

Occasionally, though a crime so dire occurs that it reminds us all of why we take in the dogs and laundry at night and lock the doors, why we eye our neighbors with suspicion, and why we so greatly fear copy cat crimes. I submit the following report which had me snorting, perhaps with fear; I'm too tough to say why I snorted:

• Wednesday. At 2:32 a.m. a caller from Great Road reported someone barking outside and running by out of breath. Police reported to the scene, where they spoke to the person, who admitted barking and running on the way home.