life's little and big victories

Well, sometimes procrastination pays off. I learned this long ago when I was a programmer and discovered that you never code something until you absolutely need to. Otherwise, if you code something too early, the requirements or the interface will change and you'll have to do it all over again anyways. Why bother?

Avoiding going to the grocery store until late was a smart move today -- the aisles were more crowded with displays than with people, there was plenty of food left on the shelves, and I didn't even have to wait when I was ready to check out. In previous years, it's been hard to find a grocery basket (no problem this year) and the checkout lines have stretched into the aisles. The store was emptier when I was there today than it is on most Saturdays. What a treat.

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I continue to be grateful for this quiet, low-pressure day. It's been an eventful year, one that's brought on many strong emotions. At times, I've felt like I've been digging into my deepest resources to get through. Peace and quiet are a tremendous gift right now.

After my friend Char got sick, she would try to name five things each day for which she was grateful. (Her husband Mark was often on the list, of course. She was so lucky to have had the foresight to marry him.) I've noticed that my friend K also makes a practice of gratitude. And I know that I have much to be grateful for, starting with having a nice place to sleep every night, being warm in the winter, having enough to eat, and knowing that I am loved and that I can love in return. (Those latter two are victories in themselves, stumbled upon relatively late in life.) The rest, and there's a lot of the rest, is all gravy (vegetarian, of course).

I will try to remember this quiet moment as we continue through the early-winter holidays.

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My thoughts go out tonight to all those who are experiencing their first Christmas without a loved one who was with them (or us) last year. Time does heal, though it does not heal completely. Recent wounds are made deeper at times when we are used to gathering our loved ones near.